I look to you
by Fuckingdefy
Summary: Mitchie had nearly died just to realize her love, but she’d do it again in a heart beat because Alex will always be the one she looks to. Femslash, based from whitney houstons new song


_**DISCLAIMER:I do not, in any way, own whitney houston's song, wizards, or camprock, this was for entertainment….free entertainment….enjoy.**_

_As I lay me down  
Heaven hear me now  
_

-----

She doesn't know where she is, or what she's doing looking up to the sky, but she does know this. That those lights up there in the midnight blue sky are blurred together. They're connected to each other, writing out a hidden message to her, yet she can't de-crypt it. Her mind is fuzzy and her own breath is tickling her nose hair. She feels light, like she's floating on water or flying. She doesn't know why, but it kind of feels good after a while. And it's ok, but that's ok, it's a comfortable coldness. So comfortable that she can close her eyes and just….fall into _darkness._

-----

_Im lost without a cause  
After giving it my all_

-----

She opens her eyes and curses at the bright light around her. It's rushing past, blurring itself and people around her. Wait, are they dancing? Her back doesn't hurt from gravel any more, and she most certainly is not cold. But she does feel fuzzy, like her mind is spinning, or is that just her? The midnight blue sky isn't in her view anymore and suddenly, she misses it.

She wants to float again in that starry sky, not be…where ever she was.

-----

_Winter storms have come  
And darkened my sun_

-----

Laughter. Its around her, causing a horrible head ache to strike against her mind. Each wave of pain sending her body into a mild shake. She wants to throw up, she wants to know why she's sitting now when she was just spinning. And why is it dark? But not like the sky dark, it's musky and has this…seventies look to it.

And when she breathes in, smoke crawls down her wind pipe, burning the already raw insides more and causing her to cough.

-----

_After all that I've been through  
Who on earth can I turn to _

-----

Wait, she remembers. It's a party! She always goes to these parties, yeah that's right. But, why is she outside again? And where are her friends? They said that they'd make sure she was ok, or at least watch over her since they wouldn't drink, but now she's roaming the street. Some friends. She could get hurt out here!

But that doesn't stop her stumbling legs from walking forward.

-----

_I look to you  
I look to you_

-----

For some reason, she keeps seeing this face. She knows its not any family member, or one of those rotten friends, but who was it? She knows this person, what with her brown kind eyes and smiles. Yet, she's not smiling right now, she's crying…why? She looks so sad when she's crying and it hurts her heart. And for some strange reason, she feels like crying too.

Wait, _she is._

-----

_After all my strength is gone  
In you I can be strong_

-----

The sky is in her sights once again, yet closer than before. Those stars are blurred still, but now it has a message that she can read. Its kind eyes, and now she has her hand out. Should she take it?

She _does._

-----

_I look to you  
I look to you  
Yeah_

-----

Now she hears whispers. The words are soft, yet their rushed together, coming out in a big mush. It calms her though, causing her heart to beat slower. This is the slowest it's been, and all she can think of is, _'well isn't this __cool!'_ But it isn't, because now those whispers are gone, and now she knows what they were saying.

Or rather, _singing._

-----

_And when melodies are gone  
In you I hear a song_

_-----_

Once again she sees that face and it's really starting to piss her off. Who the hell is this girl?! And why is she always looking so sad? It's a party night, she should be happy and dancing, but she's crying. And then, like a light switching on in her head, she knows something about this girl.

They _were_ best friends!

-----

_I look to you_

_-----_

Her knees have given out and her stomach finally empties itself, but it doesn't work. Everything has flooded into her blood stream and she's flying once again. The girl isn't in her head anymore, and she finds that she misses her. It's suddenly getting hard to breathe, yet she doesn't mind it.

She remembers that this was her _plan_, she was doing everything _right_.

-----

_After losing my breath  
There's no more fighting left_

_-----_

She closes her eyes because she can't turn over to stare into the sky. Her breathing is painful and labored, and she can't move. But she does have a smile on her face. She's at the park, the park were she went to when she was a kid. That's where she met the girl! But, still, who is she?

Oh, it doesn't matter now; she won't be _alive_ in the morning to _care._

-----

_Sinking to rise no more  
Searching for that open door  
_-----

Memories are touching her mind. She can remember the girl's laugh and how it made her want to laugh. She remembers the hugs, she remembers the dances. It was when the girl wasn't sad, and she liked it. Her kind eyes seemed to laugh and her nose crinkled as she smiled. But then, something else touches her. When the girl kissed her and she ran, leaving the girl to cry.

So it was her _fault_ the girl was crying?

-----

_And every road that I've taken  
Lead to my regret_

-----

Now she wants to say sorry to the girl because she knows that she wanted the kiss. But she was scared. What if she lost the girl as a friend if they became involved? She couldn't deal with that. But then again, when she ran, they didn't talk for years after. Sorry were planned, but never done. She wants to do it know.

But then she _remembers_.

-----

_And I don't know if Im gonna make it  
Nothing to do but lift my head_

-----

The girl is back! But she's still crying, more like weeping though. She wants to say sorry to the girl, but her lips don't move and her heart rate becomes slower. But then, the girl opens red, itchy eyes and yells. And weird thing is, I can hear it loud and clearly.

She said _wait._

-----

_I look to you  
I look to you  
Yeah_

-----

She's trying to wait, she really is. Inside her mind, she's screaming to get up, yet her body ignores her. Why didn't she think this through? Why didn't she just wait like the girl had asked her too? Why did she run? Why didn't she call the girl? Why, why, why?

Oh that's right, because she just couldn't _handle _being _her_.

-----

_And when all my strength is gone  
in you I can be strong  
_-----

She sees a bright light from behind her eye lids. It's magical and pretty. She feels drawn to it, but once again she's scared. She almost goes into it because the last time she was too scared to do something, she was un-happy. But something stopped her and drew her into the safety of the darkness.

It's the girl again. And she has to say _sorry_.

-----

_I look to you  
I look to you_

Oh yeah

-----

She hears whispers again, yet this time she can under stand them. They're saying to hold on, that she'll get help soon. The whispers are frantic and every now and again, she feels fingers placed against her wrist, checking for a pulse. And then, she realizes something.

The whisper, it sounds a lot like the _girl_.

-----

_And when melodies are gone  
In you I hear a song_

I look to you

-----

She feels her body shake in shock, and she's fighting to breathe. It hurts, it hurts a lot. She can feel a hand on her arm, stroking the skin, yet it doesn't calm her fears. She's scared, and she hurts.

Some how she thinks that she _didn't_ think this all the way through.

-----

_(my_ _levee have broken, my walls have come)_

Coming down on me

(crumbling down on me)  
-----

She's lifted from something and suddenly, she is wet. Like it's raining. She's always did love the rain, and so did the girl. She could remember playing in the rain, dancing around in it and getting scolded by her parents for doing it. They always got in trouble for it.

But it was ok because she'd get in trouble a million times just to see the carefree smile and hear that carefree laugh _again._

-----

_All the rain is falling_

(the rain is falling, defeat is calling)

-----

This girl was slowly breaking her heart. She wanted to sob, to cry until no liquid was left in her body, but no, she couldn't. She didn't want to see the girl's crying face anymore because it hurt worse then her heart and head. She wanted to be free from this, to get away and just disappear into nothingness.

Maybe she _did _think this through.

-----

_Set me free_

(i need you to set me free)

-----

Suddenly, the pain is bearable for her. It had become a lot less intense and she was starting to feel ok. She could tell that she was laying on something that was soft and warm. Maybe she was on a couch, or in a bed. She didn't care, though.

She was _comfortable_, and that's all she ever wanted when she was to _die_.

-----

_Take me far away from the battle  
I need you  
Shine on me  
_-----

She hears talking, not whispers. Their words are clear and she can tell where each sound comes from. One is her mother, another her older sister, then her younger one. But then there's another voice, a voice that she can rest so calmly to because it sounds a little happy…maybe even relieved.

It's the girl, and there's a _smile_ in her_ voice._

-----

_I look to you  
I look to you_

-----

She feels weak, yet for some reason she is still around those four voices. Has it not been long enough? Was she just thinking that hours, maybe even days have gone by? And then she can feel a hand interlocked with her own. She knows the skin, she knows the smoothness and she knows that little ring on her finger.

But she also knows that now, she _can_ squeeze the hand _back_.

-----

_After all my strength has gone  
in you I can be strong_

-----

Her eyelids hurt, and she wants to open them. But what will she see? Heaven? Hell? Well, it can't be hell because that girl's voice is still there and she can't possibly be in hell. The girl was more like an angel. She's afraid, and she doesn't take the chance of opening her eyes.

Hopefully she won't _regret_ it.

-----

_I look to you  
I look to you_

-----

Silence. For once that is all that is around her. But it doesn't last long because a voice is near her head, whispering heart wrenching things. Once again it's the girl, and she finally knows her name. Before she even says it in her mind, it leaves her lips, her voice raspy and dry.

"_Alex."_

-----

_and when melodies are gone  
In you I hear a song_

-----

Dead people most certainly can't speak, but in heaven they might be able to, right? The girl had heard her and urged her to open her eyes, yet still she was afraid. She kept whispering to her, telling her that she could, that she could do anything because she was Mitchie. And then when the girl said that she loved her, something happened.

She _opened_ her eyes.

-----

_I look to you_

yeah

I look to you  
oooooooh

-----

Doctors rushed in, looking down at Mitchie and smiling brightly. The rock star was confused and scared, yet she trusted the hand that held hers so tightly.

-----

_I look to you_

-----

It had been a week since she woke up from her 'accident' and she hadn't been able to be alone with Alex at all. Doctors kept coming at her from every angle, wanting to know how exactly she survived. She had legally been dead in the car when Alex was bringing her to the hospital, yet she came back without any CPR. They were frustrated that she didn't know, yet of course she couldn't, they might pronounce her crazy if she told them.

When everyone finally decided to go home, Alex stayed with Mitchie.

"How did you find me?" Mitchie whispered her throat still so raw and painful.

"I went to that park to clear my head, that day was the anniversary of when we met, so I went to our park." Alex smiled softly, her fingers still tucked safely in between Mitchie's.

"You want to know why I really survived?" Mitchie asked after a moment of silence.

Alex nodded and leaned forward, making sure to catch every word Mitchie would speak.

Leaning closer, Mitchie let their lips be only inches apart as she whispered.

"Luck, probably. But mostly, I looked to you and you walked me through everything, saving my life. Alex, you are my angel and to say that I regret running away from you would be an understatement." Mitchie whispered, tears strolling down her cheeks before she pressed their lips together quickly, butterflies touching her stomach.

Mitchie had nearly died just to realize her love, but she'd do it again in a heart beat because _Alex will always be the one she looks to. _

**Review? ;D**


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